dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
