Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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