even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
