hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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