I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
