Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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