Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize