I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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