I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
