i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
no you cant smoke seaweed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
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