you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
