Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
