he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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