I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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