Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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