I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
