glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
