Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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