Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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