That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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