i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish i was in the wii world.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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