We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
