And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
