if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
