hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize