Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize