We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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