watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
