I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
