Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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