Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
