shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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