I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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