Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He shit in the fireplace
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