Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
