I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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