I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
