He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
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Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
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Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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