Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
