Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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