You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
