I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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