I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
