carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
