There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize