Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
