hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
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