OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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