I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize