ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
