cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
