just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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