I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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