Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
