At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
