i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
