the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
that's an acceptable place to lick
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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