How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
