The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
