there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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