I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
