Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
MIDGETS
????
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
