I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
