We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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