do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
