Where is the hickey?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
