You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
