So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
