Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You can't just leave with hair like that
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
