yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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